Noah built an arc … in the desert

I cant hold this in because I am extremely excited and yet at the same time i am a little nervous about the response to this next piece of news. Well since that day that Thursday a while ago (a Thursday where God really brought a lot of clarity to me), I have been praying about what’s next and where God wants me or has me etc. I was so set on leaving, then so set on staying, then somewhere in between as far as the whole school stuff goes. Well after searching God out in this area for a few weeks now (not that that is a lot by any means) I am re-applying to CMU. I know it might be kind of a shock and what not. I really have been praying this out and I am set and good where I am now. I am ok with staying where I am. But i felt a tug to press deeper into the whole thing. So I did. I pressed in deeper…. and I don’t know why, I don’t know how… I just have a crazy peace that it is going to work out and that I am going to settle. So I talked to my parents yesterday, i with my whole heart expected them to completely turn me down and reject the idea. They were surprisingly very very ok with it. My mom told me that she has been expecting this to happen since we set foot onto the campus at Great Lakes. She said she didn’t know why but she felt like she began to prepare for me to go back. I have been talking also with my mentor from Idaho Lorrie about this whole thing and she has encouraged me not in one way or the other, but she has encouraged me to seek God’s face in this. The moment I put the whole thing down before the Lord and was ok with whatever happened. I was like “Ok God, I don’t know where you are going with this, but I trust this, I trust you, I will go where you send me no matter how crazy…” soon there after I really felt like I should check out Central again. So I began praying about that. I was like… what? Why would i go back there I thought you called me out of that place. why would you call me out, only to send me back? As soon as I asked that question to the Lord he reminded me of Isaac and Abraham. He wasn’t going to make Abraham give up his son but he wanted to see if he was willing. He knew the outcome, but the test itself was what helped Abraham grow. I am willing to go wherever the Lord leads me. At second glance I was like… Lord people are going to think I am just following my own path and seeking my own interests in this and I don’t want them to think that. I don’t want to go back to Central and have people think I am not following through on what I said I was going to do and on what I said the Lord led me to do. It doesn’t matter anymore. I am willing to do whatever it is no matter how crazy… no matter what it seems on the outside. So I am going to at least re-apply. It may not be something that happens right away, of course that depends on the application process and whether or not i get in. but surprisingly i feel an amazing peace about this move. I know it sounds and seems crazy and maybe even counterfeit but i assure you I am not just going with my gut or out of being uncomfortable. I have tremendous peace about this. At first i didn’t even trust that i was hearing what i was hearing, I was like, no way that can’t be God, I don’t want to be self seeking. but it was persistent. I could not get it off my mind.

I am still going to be a missionary! I am just going to get a degree in education first, at central!

~ by alpvagabond on March 13, 2008.